Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Missed or is it Mis-Communication!

Sue asks: "Who's on first?"

Shae answers: "I'm on second."

Sue:  "No, I asked who was on first?"

Shae:  "My purse, no it is with Sam who is up in the stands."

Sue yells over to the dugout:  "Hey Jack, who's on first?"

Jack:  "Shae is on second and Bill is on third."

Sue in disgust throw up her hands, shaking her head and walks off the field:  "I give up!   These people are idiots!"


Have you ever worked with or participated in a group that communicated like this? Written out you think it is so clear that Sue wants to know who is on first and why can't people just answer her direct, as direct as she asks the question?   Yet, somehow Sue walks away and never does learn who is on first.   Tension likely grew and then walls between the different teammates began to rise up.




Having found myself recently involved with some individuals who are communicating just as poorly, it made me wonder why their communication turned so sour.   What started the mis-communication in the first place? 

Today in our instant gratification world, one thing we have lost is the art of listening to others.   We have lost ability to actually speak with each other effectively.   More people would rather text a quick phrase or two, not even properly spelled out but with acronyms and short-cut language than actually press their phone speed-dial button and talk to the person direct.   Email has taken over phone calling as well.   Bottom line, with all these whiz bang, new technology communication tools, people have distanced themselves from each other so much that they have lost the art of communication.

Misunderstandings occur because one team did not update another team on what they were doing so the other team goes off in a different direction.   Team A is frustrated because Team B didn't do what they were expecting and therefore lost potential business.  Team A did not communicate their plan to Team B, nor asked Team B for their buy-in, nor made sure that Team B understood their value to Team A.   They instead sent either a quick email or text message expecting the team to interpret the message in their own way.  The message sent may have been so incomplete and incompetent that no one would have understood the message unless they were inside of the head of the person that sent the message.   It may have been a mid-sentence type of message.  Team A never did get back a validation that Team B understood their direction.

Team B, not understanding the communication sent to them and not taking time to validate what was sent to them,  chose to interpret the message their own way and chose their own path.   After Team A started to challenge what Team B was doing, Team B, grew frustrated because they felt Team A was always criticizing their work.  They began to resent Team A and therefore didn't show any appreciation to Team A. Instead they followed a path that made their life easier instead of realizing that their choice may have a huge impact overall that could result in a costly down-spiral for the company.   Now the friction grows because no one took the time to make sure that both teams were properly informed and on the same page in the first place.   So instead of having two teams that are aligned and working side by side, we see one team going left while the other is going right and the gulf gets larger and larger.

What do you do when the friction seems impossible to fix? 

Do you find yourself in a place where you are witnessing the spiral downward of a great group of people all due to lack of proper communication?   Do you realize you can lean on Someone Who truly does care and is the only One with the ability to fix the problem?

I have decided in my situation at work, to take my prayers up to the One Who is Able, the One who can fix the impossible.   Even though team members may not even be believers, I do believe that Jesus cares about our daily tiffs and disagreements.   He cares about broken relationships more than anyone else and is the only one that can bring about reparation of that broken relationship.  

Be encouraged, we have an Advocate who stands in the gap for us.  He cares about our concerns.  

As I find myself in the middle of a "War of the Roses" at my workplace, I realize that there is Someone that can change things and bring about restoration of relationship.   I choose to lean on Him and His understanding because once a relationship is as broken as what I am witnessing, if we lean on our own understanding it can only get worse.  

For all of you entrepreneurs out there, it seems to me that offering some training on how to use technology to its fullest, while not losing the art of communication and consensus would be a great opportunity.   Anyone interested?   Just make sure you back up your agreements in writing! :-)

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